Much Like a Hot Beverage from Sheldon, Self-care is Not Optional.
You: “Yeah, yeah, self-care, blah blah blah. Who has the time?”
Dr. Me: “I suggest you find some.”
Also Me:
(Cool meme made by someone not me.)
Dr. Maeve, Self-care Expert and Enthusiast, accidentally awakened by an unknown culprit (who was recently relocated by the Witness Protection Program).
“What the literal eff are you doing, Dr. Brottem?”
How many times has a well-intentioned friend, professional, parent, or YouTube wellness guru advised you to do more self-care? And…how many times have you replied (silently or aloud) that you have no time for it? That self-care is a luxury or an indulgence? That you’ll focus on self-care someday when you aren’t so busy? Uh huh. And that was, what? 6, 7 months ago? Years?! I would claim that I hate to be the one to break this to you but that would be pretty flimsy considering no one is forcing me to write a blog telling you this stuff. I like doing it. So here I go: your life is unlikely to get significantly less busy; self-care is neither a luxury or self-indulgent – although self-care can certainly be luxurious and indulgent; and time is going to keep passing whether you take better care of yourself or not.
The challenge with prioritizing self-care is that we are consistently bombarded by messages telling us that working extra hours, pulling all-nighters, working when sick, working weekends, not taking vacations, and constantly grinding are indicative of a good work ethic, ambition, and self-discipline. The last person to leave work, the first to arrive, and the person who shows up spewing contagions all over shared surfaces are often portrayed as being extremely serious about or committed to their work (they certainly seem committed to increasing the profit margins of the local pharmacy). Yes, working hard toward goals that are important to you is fine. Even working toward goals that are unimportant to you but are important to your professor or your employer is also fine, just less enjoyable. I am not here to demonize hard work, self-discipline, or the pursuit of ambitious goals and accomplishments. All of those things can be very fulfilling and enrich your life and experiences. And yet…you may discover that forgoing any form of self-care or relaxation in pursuit of said goals often comes with very unpleasant side-effects including exhaustion, irritability (episodes of sub-psychotic rage if it’s a dissertation), fatigue, depression, overeating, undereating, isolation, headaches, stomachaches, insomnia…need I go on?
My recommendation of prioritizing self-care time is often met with the same expression seen by physicians recommending a colonoscopy: the “I know I need to do it, and I should do it, and it will help prevent problems later but noooooooooo, not right now” look. Or my recommendation may result in a wistful look of longing, like there is something highly appealing that is just out of your reach and there is nothing you can do about it (Chris Hemsworth living in Australia is one very, very general example that springs to mind but feel free to make your own edits here). A mistake I often saw people make when I was a personal trainer occurs in a similar way with self-care: it’s all or nothing. Essentially, the “go big or go home” mentality that a little of something is not valuable enough to bother with so why bother at all? Well, keep reading.
Important information is about to be imparted in bold letters and all caps: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF FIVE MINUTES OF SELF-CARE. Truly. I would say the same about physical activity. A little bit of something beneficial to your health, wellness, happiness, etc., is always worth doing so do a few power poses from yoga before your final exam! Spend 5 minutes breathing deeply while imagining yourself somewhere appealing and peaceful. Spend 5 minutes savoring an ice cream cone or your favorite candy or enjoying the feel of the warm mug that holds your favorite hot beverage. Spend 5 minutes watching funny SNL skits (Alien Abduction is my favorite) or cute cat videos or puppies scaling small children to lick their faces. Spend 5 minutes standing in freshly falling snow (clearly a winter person here) or with your face turned up to the sun, smelling flower blossoms and listening to birds when it’s warm.
Self-care does not have to be complicated or expensive or inconvenient. It’s a matter of being more intentional about seeking out what soothes you, relaxes you, energizes you, inspires you, comforts you. During the year I spent on my doctoral internship, there were two people’s offices I regularly stopped in for some mid-day (mid-morning, mid-afternoon, mid-walking down the hall…) candy. It was a simple thing to peruse the bounty of the candy bowls and have a few moments to chat with funny, supportive people yet it often took the sting out of a difficult day. I can’t say my visits did the same for their candy budgets that year… (Sue, Jeff, I raise my cup of cocoa to you)! It was quick and simple and something that made good days even more enjoyable and tough days more bearable. So, take the 5 minutes and do just a little something for yourself each day. And if that 5 minutes just happens to extend to 10 or 15 or 20…that still isn’t an exorbitant amount of time and effort to invest in the marvelous creature you are and you deserve some of the same care and attention that you give to others in your life. Self-care isn’t optional. Self-care is essential. Try it for 5 minutes today. Trust me, it’s more than worth the 300 seconds it will take you.
Dr. Maeve always prioritizes her self-care with a soft place to soak in some Vitamin D.
Be like Maeve.
Thank you for reading! You’ve been Smudged!
Tracy
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